Yes, estrogen is one of the main female sex hormones. Yes, it balances with progesterone – the other main female sex hormone. And yes, we do have more than just the two.
But what does it actually do for your Sexual Wellness?
SO many things!
Estrogen is responsible for the development and maintenance of the reproductive system plus the typical female characteristics (hint: why you develop breasts during puberty). But beyond ensuring you ovulate each month, it does so much more.
Have too much? This can leave you with acne, bad PMS symptoms like swollen and tender breasts, weight gain, depression or anxiety, moodiness and a lost sex drive.
Have too little? You then may be experiencing hot flashes, sleeping problems, thinning of the vaginal wall causing vaginal dryness, moodiness and a lost sex drive. (And this may sound like your typical menopause picture.)
The takeaway: High AND low estrogen can impact your sexual desire and your mood but each in a different way.
If you want to learn more about how estrogen could be affecting your body, make an appointment to see how we can work together to regulate your levels.
Category: Naturopathic Medicine
Your Thyroid & Your Libido
I thought having a thyroid problem made me gain/lose weight?
We’re going to look at HYPOthyroid (or less than optimal levels) of thyroxine, the thyroid hormone being produced by our body. When we have an underactive thyroid and it’s not doing all the things for our body that it’s supposed to, it can cause us to gain weight. (The opposite of this, hyperthyroid, can cause us to lose weight). Hypothyroid can also make you tired, be more sensitive to cold, experience constipation, have drier skin than usual, thin your hair, cause depression AND LOWER YOUR LIBIDO.
That’s right.
So, while you may have all of those other things and the last thing you are thinking about is sex, a thyroid problem could be the cause.
This works in a number of ways:
- It can lower your vaginal lubrication making sex uncomfortable, unenjoyable and less likely for you to want it.
- It may lower your testosterone (women produce this too) and that helps to boost your drive.
- It may make you tired and depressed and let’s face it, when you feel that way you are not going to be interested.
GOOD NEWS. You can fix this, the first step is to get your thyroid levels checked by your doctor to rule in (or out) your thyroid as a cause of your low sex drive. This is done through a simple blood test and I would be happy to do it for you.
How to CHOOSE your Sexual Wellness Provider
I work in the Sexual Wellness space because I want to empower and educate women about their health and provide a safe space to help make the best-informed decision for THEM.
So how does one choose who to go see?
See who makes you comfortable. That’s where you start. If you don’t feel like you can talk to them, you probably won’t. Talking about sex is already hard enough for most people, you want someone who won’t shy away, will use the proper terminology, creates a space for you to ask what you like, prompts you with questions you might feel to embarrassed to bring up and ultimately creates a full picture of you as a person.
This does not only include the basics; if you engage in sex, if you use protection, if you’ve been tested for STIs and UTIs and yeast infections. It includes explaining to you how the female body works and responds to sexual stimuli, they’ll ask you how you feel about sex, how you feel about your body, how you feel about your partner and if you are getting what you need out of it.
They should be looking at your physical, mental, emotional and sensual health.
If this is something you are looking for, reach out and I would be happy to see if I can help!
A Peak into Female Sexual Function
This is not as routine as getting a blood test. And it’s definitely not something that happens at your regular check-up. It’s not something that is the same for everyone. It IS dependent on what each person WANTS and FEELS. This can be vastly different.
So how do we measure it?
Sexual function is a tricky thing. There are so many different factors that contribute to it. It is not black and white or about engaging (or not engaging) in sexual activity solely. There is a Physical, Mental, Emotional, Sensual and Relationship aspect to it. Then we consider your overall health too; like your hormonal balance, your stress response, how you’re sleeping and what your energy looks like throughout the day.
Let’s look at the breakdown:
- Sexual Desire
- Sexual Satisfaction
- Emotional Relationship with Sex
- Emotional Relationship with your Body
- Relationship Satisfaction (with a partner or yourself)
- Overall Health
Have you been thinking about your Sexual Wellness? Are you looking for something more or someone to discuss it with? Book an appointment to see how I can help get you to living your most satisfied life!
Build Body Confidence
Are you happy in your body right now? No changes, no when x happens, but right now?
Starting a new year we tend to put extra pressure on ourselves to meet goals, achieve conventional standards and we can be our own worst critics. There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with wanting to live a healthier life (in fact I’m all for it) but it is a problem if you set your expectations to be happy when those results are achieved.
No one is perfect.
And if you think they are, there are lots of things you just don’t see. To be happy now with your situation should be the goal or at a minimum having compassion for yourself where you currently are as we all go through ebbs and flows. After that, you can work towards those health goals.
This has a huge effect on your self-esteem.
And on your confidence too and that can impact your libido. When we feel good, we are more likely to want to share ourselves with our partner. When we don’t, we tend to hide and push them away.
If this is something you’re struggling with and finally want to break free off this year, book an appointment and we can discuss all the ways to get you feeling your best!
The Keys to Great Sex
What makes for magnificent sex?
Hint. It’s not what you were made to believe. The research has been done, the results are in and it does not involve any crazy positions (although those can be good too).
So what makes it great?
Communication. Yes, the most obvious one but still the one that is so often missed. You have to tell your partner what you like. I promise they don’t know if you don’t say it. And you might not know what that is right away, that’s okay too. That’s why a focus on pleasure, not performance is SO key. You can find this out together. You just have to trust each other enough to be open to trying those new things.
What are the other keys?
Anticipation – think about those butterflies you get when you still don’t know what’s going to happen. Affection – intimacy OUTSIDE of your sexual relationship is key to creating intimacy inside your sexual relationship. A non-genital focus – only 30% of women orgasm from penetration, if this is all you are focusing on you will be missing out.
Want to learn more? Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers written by two amazing female doctrates Peggy Kleinplatz and Dana Ménard explores the latest research in the sexual health field to help us all achieve this.
Your Vulva 101
This is what encompasses the (external) female sex organs and what they are ACTUALLY called.
I will admit this. I didn’t know this for way to long. I thought it was your vagina (or your vajay jay, as I sometimes called it). How is this possible?!
We aren’t taught proper terminology. We need to know proper terminology if we want to be empowered in our sexuality and our health.
So let’s discuss the basics:
Your Vulva includes everything on the outside. The vagina is the vaginal canal where a baby would exit your body or where a penis (or finger, or toy, or tampon) would enter.
This misses some of the most important parts!
When we discuss sex and pleasure, most women (and men) think and consider sex to be penetrative intercourse. This is just not the case. And I don’t blame you. We aren’t taught about the clitoris properly and we don’t discuss our anatomy in a way that makes it important. We don’t include it.
The clitoris IS important!
It is the pea shaped mound under your clitoral hood (that offers protection) and is designed for female pleasure. But it is so much more than its external part. It is actually wish-boned shaped and has two legs that extend around the vaginal canal allowing you to feel good during penetration.
The other parts of the Vulva are your labias (majora amd minora), mons pubis, the urethra (where you pee) and your glands (Bartholin and Skene)
ALL of these parts make up the VULVA and all are included in the female sex organs.
Sexual Education is ALWAYS important. Let’s do it right.
Have you Heard About This?
This does happen. You’re not alone.
So what actually is it?
Simply put, you don’t or can’t have an orgasm when you want to. You’ve done all the right things, you’re sufficiently turned on and yet you can’t quite get there. Then you get upset (rightfully so) and you become sexually dissatisfied and frustrated. I don’t blame you. This happens to all women at some point or another. It becomes a problem when this becomes a pattern. The less we enjoy something, the less we want to participate in it. The less we get the results we want, the less likely we are to try again.
What causes it?
A few different things. The medications you’re on, a decrease in sensation to the clitoral tissue, any number of hormonal imbalances, relationship breakdown, and psychological reasons like anxiety or past traumas.
Can I get my orgasm back?
YES! Just because this is the way you are feeling right now does not mean this is the way you always have to feel. The ability (and right) to have an orgasm is a reflection of our overall health. This is what are bodies are capable to do when all our other needs are met, we seek out PLEASURE.
Working with me I will tease out what is blocking your ability to fully achieve your O because that’s what every woman wants right?
PMID: 26439762
The Love Languages
How do you show love?
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Do you know the difference?
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Taking the time to figure this out can greatly improve your relationship. If you haven’t heard of it before, I STRONGLY recommend checking out the 5 Love Languages. The way we need to be treated to feel loved can differ from how our partner chooses to show their love for you and vice versa. By taking this simple quiz and then talking about it, you can make sure you are loving your partner (and your family & friends) the way they need to be. It’s important because it also allows you to communicate how you most feel loved. This will make a lot of sense if you’ve ever had a relationship where this was off. This will be your AH HA moment.
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The 5 Love Languages:
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Words of Affirmation: Uses words to state how you feel to other people
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Acts of Service: Uses actions to show other people how they feel
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Receiving Gifts: Uses gifts to show other people that they care
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Quality Time: Uses time and attention to show other people you’re there
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Physical Touch: Uses (appropriate) touch to show others love
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Think this is something that could benefit your relationship? Want to connect with your partner better?Take the quiz now to find out now! Link is here:
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https://www.5lovelanguages.com/
A Need to Know:
Your libido fluctuates. This is NORMAL.
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What’s not normal is when it stays that way for a long time. You are missing out on such a big part of being human; we all DESERVE PLEASURE in our life. Right now, the majority of us are under an increased level of stress and this could be killing your sex drive, but there are other underlying issues that could be having an effect. Let’s learn the causes:
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The Obvious Ones (the ones we normally think of)
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Hormonal Imbalance
Vulvodynia (Painful Sex)
Stress
Relationship Breakdown
Lack of Sleep
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The Less Obvious Ones (these are just as important)
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Endometriosis
Poor Body Image
Past Sexual Trauma
Low Self-Esteem
Vaginismus (Involuntary Vaginal Contractions)
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There are SO many reasons you may not be feeling yourself right now. That is okay. I am here to make sure that you get back on track solo, or with your partner, because we all need that. When patients come back to see me and tell me how much better they are feeling, it lights me up. Let me do that for you, book an appointment today!
There’s More Than One Reason for Pelvic Pain
How do these relate?
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The official definition of pain is “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage or described in terms of such damage.”
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Did you catch that?
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Pain has an emotional connection. Does this mean that your pain is all in your head? ABSOLUTELY NOT. But pain does not always provide accurate information on the health of your tissues. If your pain has been persistent for over 3 months, your central nervous system (CNS) may be playing a big part in your pain response.
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The CNS and the sensation of pain
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This weekend I’ve been taking my Pelvic Floor Therapist Level 3 course to learn more about all the different types of pelvic pain, including pain with sex, to help my patients. We’ve spent a lot of time discussing the role of the central nervous system and how pain lives in the body. One of the main takeaways of this was the role of central sensitization which is the amplification of your nerve signals within your CNS which is causing your hypersensitivity to pain. In basic terms, your nerves are firing when they shouldn’t be or sending more signals than they should.
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If you’re living with chronic pelvic pain, please know you don’t have to! There are so many things you can do to fix this. Set up an appointment with me so we can get to the root of your pain and get you back to enjoying your life the way you want to!
Let’s Improve your Sleep & your Relationship
This has two benefits.
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Let’s start with sleep
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Researchers looked at stopping the use of your smartphone just 30 minutes before falling asleep. The results? After only four weeks sleep latency was reduced (the amount of time it takes to fall asleep), the amount of time you were actually asleep increased, your sleep quality improved (meaning you were able to achieve those coveted deep sleep waves). They found a reduction in your pre-sleep arousal (or an improvement in your relaxation), and as an added bonus, the NEXT day participants had improved mood (this is definitely me) and working memory. Is there a downside to this? I can’t think of one.
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How blue light affects your body
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Your body needs to produce melatonin (a hormone that helps regulate your circadian rhythm) to let you know it’s time to sleep. This is done through your eyes exposure, or lack thereof to light. It has been shown that light lowers the production of melatonin and that blue light (from smartphones) is extra powerful at doing this, making it even harder for you to fall asleep.
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And now for the effect on your relationship
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This is the easy one, I bet you can guess it. You get that extra little bit of quality time together. You can nurture your connection, check in at the end of a long day, and snag a snuggle increasing your oxytocin secretion (creating those feelings of love).
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If you are struggling with your sleep, I can help! There are many ways (other than just this) to help you fall asleep and stay asleep through the night. You can wake up feeling refreshed, let me get you there.
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DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0228756